Black or White?

So ethnically I am a hybrid of a few cultures but if you split it down based on skin colour, my mother is white and my father is black. I think that the average person assumes I am mixed when they see me but you know what they say about assumptions…

On the outside I am a black woman, we’d be lying if we said skin-colour was not one of the first things people notice about each other (consciously or subconsciously), so I am black. I have been discriminated against because of it, I have been noticed because of it and I have also had privileges because of it but being mixed is something that tends to go unrecognized. I am proud of all of my heritages but often people only care about where the pigments come from. If you ask what’s my background or where I am from I will answer as a Canadian until you specifically ask where my mother’s family or father is from because I am Canadian. I was born here, I’ve grown up here and at least half of me is about the 6th generation of my family to be born here but I am a mixture of other things and sometimes I feel like those other things can also be underestimated.

The newspaper that I freelance for has been getting ready for their black-history issue for a while and I had been excited to write a piece on being mixed or at least about mixes of black and white (I hadn’t written it or anything I had just considered a few ideas about it such as being included and excluded at the same time). Today I checked my email to find they had hired a coordinator (and no I had not applied I really don’t want that responsibility at the moment) and he sent out a list of things he was looking for and any pitches we thought would work with his plan, I quickly realized that there wasn’t much room for a mixed article. His email asked for topics that fell under three sections; the past, present and future of black people. I am grateful that he didn’t specify African Americans because in a place such as Canada people considered ‘black’ come from all over the world and don’t always appreciate being linked to one continent but I’m still a little hurt. There doesn’t seem to be a place for me or many others to identify with, we can still write for the issue, anyone can doesn’t matter who you are or what the colour of your skin is, but I can’t help but feel left out.

I’m not sure what I plan to do. I might write to the coordinator and ask to place something about mixed races or there’s a mixed association group (for all mixes of any combination) somewhere on campus I could write to and see what they do, maybe they’ll ask for a mixed issue but I’m still a little lost. Like I said before to most of the people I see I am black not mixed, some people choose to ignore skin-colour and say I’m white which is still just as appalling as ignoring my ‘white side’ because I will always be both, and I would like to be fully included in both groups. I’m no where as cool or important as Obama but I wonder if he feels the same way. Remember he’s mixed too and the only time people mention it is when they use it to deride the fact that he is the first black president. The coordinator included Obama as a black man of the present (and to me he is, he had to struggle because of his skin colour and he benefited from it) and although he is of mixed heritage it was clear that he was mentioned as a black man and that his mix was not necessary.
I just wish we were included by all and I guess the same connection could be connected to all races including each other.