New Years Resolution

I don't really believe in 'New Years resolutions'. I support all of you who try but for the most part I think they're just a scam you commit against yourself, you're saying you know how to better yourself but most of you never do.
This year I have made a resolution! I fully believe that I will follow through but just in case wish me luck.
This year I am going to man enough courage to physically pick up the stray cat!
Cats are kind of a scary thing, one minute they're happy the next minute WHAM they scratch out your eyes but our stray cat Gizmo is the nicest cat Ive ever known and he has taken to entering the house once in awhile. I hope when he's old he can become our fat house cat (even if I die from allergies he grows on people).

Song of the New Year

OK, so I've noticed people (myself included) have been struggling through this or that and ya what the proverbial "They" say is true 'Life's hard'. You just have to remind yourself that life is hard for everyone so get over it. I mean what else are you going to do? You can sit there and whine but if you're in that mood no matter what at people say it's not going to help until you snap out of it, that's why the January song of the month comes from the year 1999. You might find it a bit harsh but in reality (at least I believe) it pretty much sums up life.

Child Psychology

by Black Box Recorder

I stopped talking when I was six years old

I didn't want anything more to do with the outside world

I was happy being quiet

But of course they wouldn't leave me alone

My parents tried every trick in the book

From speech therapists to child psychologists

They even tried bribery I could have anything,

as long as I said it out loud

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Of course this episode didn't last forever

I'd made my point and it was time to move on

To peel away the next layer of deceit

And see what new surprises lay in store

My school report said I showed no interest

'A disruptive influence' I felt sorry for them in a way

And when they finally expelled me

It didn't mean a thing

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

("At that time she stopped what she was doing, she stopped playing...

she stared, she had the facial grimacing...

and then the psychiatrist was saying, "Julie, Julie, can you hear me?

Can you open your eyes? Can you stick out your tongue?"

And all of a sudden, Julie struck out")

The November when I came home the Christmas decorations were already up

Spray on snow, coloured flashing lights

And an artificial tree that played Silent Night

Over and over again

My parents welcomed me with loving arms

But within an hour were back at each others throats

Normal, happy childhood back on course

Batteries not included

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Note: I really DON'T want you to kill yourself, I just think we should all get over it. If you feel suicidal remember your life is 100% worth living and people obviously love you, feel free to contact me on Twitter and we'll get over it together.

I was once given (by a bus driver headed to NYC not just to me but the whole bus) a very touching message that I would like to pass along. "If no one has told you this today: I love you".

Black or White?

So ethnically I am a hybrid of a few cultures but if you split it down based on skin colour, my mother is white and my father is black. I think that the average person assumes I am mixed when they see me but you know what they say about assumptions…

On the outside I am a black woman, we’d be lying if we said skin-colour was not one of the first things people notice about each other (consciously or subconsciously), so I am black. I have been discriminated against because of it, I have been noticed because of it and I have also had privileges because of it but being mixed is something that tends to go unrecognized. I am proud of all of my heritages but often people only care about where the pigments come from. If you ask what’s my background or where I am from I will answer as a Canadian until you specifically ask where my mother’s family or father is from because I am Canadian. I was born here, I’ve grown up here and at least half of me is about the 6th generation of my family to be born here but I am a mixture of other things and sometimes I feel like those other things can also be underestimated.

The newspaper that I freelance for has been getting ready for their black-history issue for a while and I had been excited to write a piece on being mixed or at least about mixes of black and white (I hadn’t written it or anything I had just considered a few ideas about it such as being included and excluded at the same time). Today I checked my email to find they had hired a coordinator (and no I had not applied I really don’t want that responsibility at the moment) and he sent out a list of things he was looking for and any pitches we thought would work with his plan, I quickly realized that there wasn’t much room for a mixed article. His email asked for topics that fell under three sections; the past, present and future of black people. I am grateful that he didn’t specify African Americans because in a place such as Canada people considered ‘black’ come from all over the world and don’t always appreciate being linked to one continent but I’m still a little hurt. There doesn’t seem to be a place for me or many others to identify with, we can still write for the issue, anyone can doesn’t matter who you are or what the colour of your skin is, but I can’t help but feel left out.

I’m not sure what I plan to do. I might write to the coordinator and ask to place something about mixed races or there’s a mixed association group (for all mixes of any combination) somewhere on campus I could write to and see what they do, maybe they’ll ask for a mixed issue but I’m still a little lost. Like I said before to most of the people I see I am black not mixed, some people choose to ignore skin-colour and say I’m white which is still just as appalling as ignoring my ‘white side’ because I will always be both, and I would like to be fully included in both groups. I’m no where as cool or important as Obama but I wonder if he feels the same way. Remember he’s mixed too and the only time people mention it is when they use it to deride the fact that he is the first black president. The coordinator included Obama as a black man of the present (and to me he is, he had to struggle because of his skin colour and he benefited from it) and although he is of mixed heritage it was clear that he was mentioned as a black man and that his mix was not necessary.
I just wish we were included by all and I guess the same connection could be connected to all races including each other.

Song of the Month

Happy Halloween! This song comes from the Nightmere Before Christmas:

Jack's Lament

There are few who'd deny,

at what I do I am the best

For my talents are renowned far and wide

When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night

I excel without ever even trying

With the slightest little effort of my ghostlike charms

I have seen grown men give out a shriek

With the wave of my hand,

and a well-placed moan

I have swept the very bravest off their feet

Yet year after year,

it's the same routine

And I grow so weary of the sound of screams

And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King

Have grown so tired of the same old thing

Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones

An emptiness began to grow

There's something out there,

far from my home

A longing that I've never known

I'm a master of fright,

and a demon of light

And I'll scare you right out of your pants

To a guy in Kentucky,

I'm Mister Unlucky

And I'm known throughout England and France

And since I am dead,

I can take off my head

To recite Shakespearean quotations

No animal nor man can scream like I can

With the fury of my recitations

But who here would ever understand

That the Pumpkin King with the skeleton grin

Would tire of his crown,

if they only understood

He'd give it all up if he only could

Oh, there's an empty place in my bones

That calls out for something unknown

The fame and praise come year after year

Does nothing for these empty tears

Song of the Month

I don't really have a song of the month for September. I usually have phrases, where one song or CD is reaching out to how I feel about my life at that moment, but there is no defining song. Though there are no particular songs, there is an artist I just recently got hooked on. So I'd like to change things up for this month and give you an artist of the month for a change.

K'NAAN

I recently went to concert at my school where he preformed, having only known one of his songs and his whole performance blew me (along with everyone else in the audience) away. He had all of us singing along to songs we'd never heard and dancing like crazy to powerful upbeat songs. K'naan comes from Somalia and Toronto (he moved to Toronto awhile ago). Some of his songs are packed with explicit lyrics, something I normally dislike. All of his songs have a powerful meaning, and the more explicit words are there for a reason -other than to sound like a cool bad boy.
Don't be discouraged by his political songs, the beat along with the mixture of genres (rock, hip hop, rap, folk etc) make songs with tough subject matter more energetic and just plain fun.

Songs I like to sing to include; Wavin' Flag and Fatima.
Songs that I like to dance to include; ABC, Bang Bang and If Rap Gets Jealous.

I just bought his latest album, Troubadour and it's fantastic!

I tend to mainly listen to pop and rock, so it might just have been is amazing concert that hooked me but I really think you should check him out(I'm posting the link to his website so you have no excuse not to).

http://knaanmusic.ning.com/

Full Circle

I find it strange how things in life really do come full circle.

The first month of school is just finishing and just like last fall I find myself attempting to see Jersey Boys, last year I think I almost went with the same friend about 10 times but never managed to buy a ticket. This year I have a ticket ( instead of my friend it's my mother and her friend) but I have an essay due the next day so it depends how much work I get done in the next few days. If I manage to make it this year I'll write you about the performance.

However Jersey Boys is just one of the smaller ways life has come full circle. Once again I am living in a new place with whole new issues to deal with. It is still a campus residence but it is completely different from my first one. Last year I had a room. That was all. OK not exactly all. I did have a room with a desk, two chairs and a bed. I was on my own for the first and alone. None of my friends from before, were there and most of my friends had taken the year off and couldn't really relate to any of my new life experiences.

This year my new dorm has a kitchen, a washroom and I roommate. I still have my own personal room with all the luxuries I had in first year too. Having a roommate is great! We became friends in first year so it is not like living with a total stranger but it is still an adjustment. Once again I have to make new groups of friends, for a few difference reasons. Most of the people I hung out with in residence last year are now scattered across campus, so I cant just knock on their doors at any given time for any given thing.

The main reason for needing to make friends all over again is time. It was unexpected. My friends from home and I are still so close, I never would have guessed the small sum of a summer could make a difference but it did.
People I imagined I'd be closest with, I am furthest apart from. Fortunately for me the friends I thought would disappear came back ten times stronger.

My friends that took a year off have started school and it's funny reliving the few weeks I went through every time they mention their life. I don't think all them realize yet, that it is the same thing for every single person out there but it's nice. I laugh every time I think about next September for them and than me.

New classes, new friends, I think it is safe to assume I will have to start again (a least a little start) every year. I was getting discouraged until Friday when I made a few comments in class that made the people around me laugh. Once they laughed or the second time since last year, I realized (cheesy as it sounds) everything is going to be alright.

Song of the Month

I know I missed July...how could I?!
I've been very busy working about 10 hours a day at a daycamp and I've had trouble keeping touch with my friends let alone my blogs. Anyways I'm not too worried there's only about 4 people who read my blog and I know you all surrvived my lack of writing. :)

So like I've said I was very busy working and dreaming of some far off adventure, where I don't have to work all day to afford the classes that are comming up soon (where needless to say I will be working all day on essays).

Here is the song I think defines my July and August.

Take Me Anywhere

Tegan & Sara

Bright just like the stars above me

proud just like my mother planned it

short on all the things I don't want

I'm full of love and longing

take me by the hand and tell me

you would take me anywhere you would take me anywhere

still, cause I don't want to move a thing

and that you fit right into me

and all the things I don't want they're full

of love and longing

take me by the hand and tell me

you would take me anywhere you would take me anywhere

take me by the hand and tell me

you would take me anywhere you would take me anywhere

and it goes, its like a come on come on to me

and it goes, it's like a come on come on to me

you, you say you don't see any part of me

to love in all this mess and I know

you take the good and all the bad that comes with me

take me by the hand and tell me

you would take me anywhere you would take me anywhere

take me by the hand and tell me

you would take me anywhere you would take me anywhere

and it goes, its like a come on come on to me

and it goes, it's like a come on come on to me

and it goes, its like a come on come on to me

and it goes, it's like a come on come on to me