Time out -thanks for reading

So I can't write this blog at the moment and I felt I need to write one last piece just to say goodbye instead of just falling off the face of the planet.
My life had just got really busy at the moment -not in like a tragic way but a positive way and I hardly have time to myself let alone my blog.
To my 3 or 4 readers out there; Thanks for reading.
If you need something new to fill your time with I suggest sporcle.com - a friend told me about it and it seems like a blast for a rainy day.
Check every few months and you might find something posted ;)

Petition to get Rooney to add Toronto to their headlining Summer 2010 Tour!

So a quick sorry to my 3 readers out their, I'm sorry i haven't been writing but I've been really busy I even turned 20 while I was away!

I started writing for an online magazine called M.I.C Check so you can follow me there and find some other writers too :)   http://miiccheck.wordpress.com/

I need a favour:

I NEED ALL YOU FACEBOOK USERS TO JOIN THIS GROUP I CREATED:

 http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=116219481742492

ONE OF MY FAVOURITE BANDS IS TOURING BUT IS SKIPPING MY TOWN OR ANY WHERE IN DRIVING DISTANCE SO I WANT TO GET THEIR ATTENTION AND HAVE THEM CONSIDER MY CITY ON THEIR TOUR

Their name is Rooney and the group is a petition to get them to put Toronto -a big city in Ontario Canada on their tour. I know it won't work but it should at least get them to notice the city and realize they have at least one crazy fan there. So join it for me  please.

-Peace

Song of The Month

      So for most uni or college students "the end is near!" I know I can't wait, March and April look like they're going to be the craziest months ever. This is not my usual style but I do want to say Happy Birthday to my friends Chris and Alex! Since it is March and it was St. Patrick's Day I'm going to use a song from an Irish band.

If I Ever Leave This World Alive

by Flogging Molly

If I ever leave this world alive

I'll thank for all the things you did in my life

If I ever leave this world alive

I'll come back down and sit beside your

feet tonight

Wherever I am you'll always be

More than just a memory

If I ever leave this world alive

If I ever leave this world alive

I'll take on all the sadness

That I left behind

If I ever leave this world alive

The madness that you feel will soon subside

So in a word don't shed a tear

I'll be here when it all gets weird

If I ever leave this world alive

So when in doubt just call my name

Just before you go insane

If I ever leave this world

Hey I may never leave this world

But if I ever leave this world alive

She says I'm okay; I'm alright,

Though you have gone from my life

You said that it would,

Now everything should be all right

She says I'm okay; I'm alright,

Though you have gone from my life

You said that it would,

Now everything should be all right

Yeah should be alright

"The One Named Sailor Moon"

Quick Fact:


       Sometimes when things get to be too much I revert to acting like I'm 6. For instance obviously this time of year gets a little hectic, what with school, work, friends and family (what else is new in the universe?) and I was feeling the pressure a little too much so for the past day and a half I've been on Youtube watching Sailor Moon.


     It really does help and i think I could base all my morals and how I want to live my life based on the ethics of Sailor Moon, my friends know that I'm 'the one on who they can depend and will always be there to defend" ;) and for all they know I too have secret powers of the universe.


   It's not just me, someone in my contemporary Latin American studies course yesterday was watching Stickin Around which got our whole class searching for videos of YTV and shows such as Power Rangers and The Muppets.


   I truly believe that these shows help us through somewhat tough times, they remind us that life's not so bad...how could it be with heroes like Sailor Moon?

Song of the month x2

Song one for those who are not a fan of Valentine's day:

I Hate Everyone

by Get Set Go

Some stupid chick in the checkout line

Was paying for beer with nickels and dimes

And some old man who clipped coupons

Had argued whenever they wouldn't take one

All I wanted to was buy some cigarettes

But I couldn't take it anymore so I left

I hate everyone (4x)

All the people on the street, I hate you all

And the people that I meet, I hate you all

And the people that I know, I hate you all

And the people that I don't, I hate you all

Oh, I hate you all

 

Some fucking asshole just cut me off

And gave me the finger when I fucking honked

Then he proceeded to put on the brakes

He slammed on the brakes, but I made a mistake

When I climbed out of my van he was waiting

But he was six three and two hundred pounds of Satan

I hate everyone (4x)

 

All the people on the street, I hate you all

And the people that I meet, I hate you all

And the people that I know, I hate you all

And the people that I don't, I hate you all

Oh, I hate you all

I bet you think I'm kidding

But I promise you it's true

I hate most everybody

But most of all I hate

Oh, I hate you

All the people on the street, I hate you all

And the people that I meet, I hate you all

And the people that I know, I hate you all

And the people that I don't, I hate you all

And the people in the east, I hate you all

And the people I hate least, I hate you all

And the people in the west, I hate you all

And the people I like best, I hate you all

Oh, I hate you all

Now for those who love Valentine's day:

I Found Love

by The Free Design

I found love, didn’t even know I needed it

But I found love, never even crossed my mind

I found love, had a garden never weeded it

But I found love, took an apple just in time

I found love in the fall and it did not hurt at all

I found sunlight and flowers, soft summer showers

I can feel my heart touch my Adams apple

I can feel the feather in my head

There is a lightness, politeness, fingers tingle, tootsies tap

‘till dawn comes and finds me never in my bed

I found love, didn’t even know I needed it

But I found love, never even crossed my mind

I found love in the spring and I did not lose a thing

I found love in the fall and it did not hurt at all

I found sunlight and flowers, soft summer showers.

I can feel my heart touch my Adams apple

I can feel the feather in my head

There is a lightness, politeness, fingers tingle, tootsies tap

‘till dawn comes and finds me never in my bed

Had a garden never weeded it

But I found love

Took an apple just in time

I found love in this world and my heart strings just unfurled

I found love in the spring and I did not lose a thing

I found love in the fall and it did not hurt at all

I found love in this world and my heart strings just unfurled

I found love in the spring and I did not lose a thing

TOO MUCH TO DO

Have you ever felt like you've had too much to do? Like you're overwhelmed with task: fun or dreadful?

WELL DUH! YOU ARE HUMAN AFTER ALL!

Who hasn't felt like they've got too much on their plate? I feel like that right now so I took a breath and remembered that a ton of you out there are feeling the same. :)

So I think you (RIGHT NOW, Don't wait) should take a breath, stop what you're doing and walk around the room for a minute.
Walk around, think of something crazy or fun or simple and do it! Find something that takes five minutes and as long as it has NO PURPOSE do it! Colour in a colouring book. Change all the pen caps around. Count some tiles on the floor.

I think we all need to remember that in a few years or even a few a months from now all the chores you feel you have to get done now, won't matter anymore. So I'm on my way to do something right now, even if I don't know what that is yet.

Do something useless, you deserve it.

jersey shore get wild get crazy

So I'm really sick well not really sick but i feel like cr*p (I don't know if I should say non pg language) with ear and sinus infections.

so I'm going to ramble on cause i have a lot of Advil and a little out of date orange sinus syrup i was prescribed a few months ago. I also had a lot of those drugs this morning cause I had to write an in class nothing say: BAD IDEA
I bombed. Nothing I wrote made sense until my conclusion which was more of a thesis statement and was in reality my whole argument that I was trying to write it just came out a little incoherent (probably like this blog is now).
Anyhoo The Situation from Jersey Shore is bothering me (I'm watching reruns) and Vinny is turning out to be hilarious.

With recent events in Haiti I sent my last paycheck to the red cross but now I'm frustrated cause it doesn't seem to matter how much I give I can't save the world (doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying but I really wish I was Really really rich so I could do more -I would. As long as my friends and family were safe and happy everything else would go to saving the world but there's the animals the people the earth and each of those have categories such as pets or endangered, locals who need help or foreign aid etc etc etc it seems like i have a lot to do in my lifetime)

I hope my friend Mel is ok, she was having issues but my cell is dead. I have good friends even the friends I don't really consider friends are good -they sent me a lot where are you this week and get better messages.

hahahahaha Snookie on Shore loves pickles so mike and Pauly d. are punk'ing her with pickles. Her real name is Nicole.

Um my old law teacher from high school has a son who is sick um i think its cancer i cant remember right now but hes recovering -struggling but recovering. Even if i fix the world i cant fix stuff like that.

I wish my blackberry would work. The Killers are taking a break from showbiz...who cares? I loved their first album but their second one did nothing for me and that seems like a long time ago anyway so I think it's safe to say we didn't need them to announce their break.

I like 2 embarrassing things: I really like Jay Leno's work (and apparently that's uncool) AND I like Star Wars episode 1-3 I like them a lot despite what everyone else says I love Jar Jar Binks!
IT'S OK TO BE DIFFERENT SO EMBRACE IT PEOPLE!

if you listened i mean if you read this and got anything from it WOW i know i wont but if you read this for the sake of reading it THANKS I know it took a lot of effort. I think I'm getting tired however it won't last long so you might get some more.

war child 10 -a new cd to help people check it out

New Years Resolution

I don't really believe in 'New Years resolutions'. I support all of you who try but for the most part I think they're just a scam you commit against yourself, you're saying you know how to better yourself but most of you never do.
This year I have made a resolution! I fully believe that I will follow through but just in case wish me luck.
This year I am going to man enough courage to physically pick up the stray cat!
Cats are kind of a scary thing, one minute they're happy the next minute WHAM they scratch out your eyes but our stray cat Gizmo is the nicest cat Ive ever known and he has taken to entering the house once in awhile. I hope when he's old he can become our fat house cat (even if I die from allergies he grows on people).

Song of the New Year

OK, so I've noticed people (myself included) have been struggling through this or that and ya what the proverbial "They" say is true 'Life's hard'. You just have to remind yourself that life is hard for everyone so get over it. I mean what else are you going to do? You can sit there and whine but if you're in that mood no matter what at people say it's not going to help until you snap out of it, that's why the January song of the month comes from the year 1999. You might find it a bit harsh but in reality (at least I believe) it pretty much sums up life.

Child Psychology

by Black Box Recorder

I stopped talking when I was six years old

I didn't want anything more to do with the outside world

I was happy being quiet

But of course they wouldn't leave me alone

My parents tried every trick in the book

From speech therapists to child psychologists

They even tried bribery I could have anything,

as long as I said it out loud

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Of course this episode didn't last forever

I'd made my point and it was time to move on

To peel away the next layer of deceit

And see what new surprises lay in store

My school report said I showed no interest

'A disruptive influence' I felt sorry for them in a way

And when they finally expelled me

It didn't mean a thing

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

("At that time she stopped what she was doing, she stopped playing...

she stared, she had the facial grimacing...

and then the psychiatrist was saying, "Julie, Julie, can you hear me?

Can you open your eyes? Can you stick out your tongue?"

And all of a sudden, Julie struck out")

The November when I came home the Christmas decorations were already up

Spray on snow, coloured flashing lights

And an artificial tree that played Silent Night

Over and over again

My parents welcomed me with loving arms

But within an hour were back at each others throats

Normal, happy childhood back on course

Batteries not included

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it

Note: I really DON'T want you to kill yourself, I just think we should all get over it. If you feel suicidal remember your life is 100% worth living and people obviously love you, feel free to contact me on Twitter and we'll get over it together.

I was once given (by a bus driver headed to NYC not just to me but the whole bus) a very touching message that I would like to pass along. "If no one has told you this today: I love you".

Black or White?

So ethnically I am a hybrid of a few cultures but if you split it down based on skin colour, my mother is white and my father is black. I think that the average person assumes I am mixed when they see me but you know what they say about assumptions…

On the outside I am a black woman, we’d be lying if we said skin-colour was not one of the first things people notice about each other (consciously or subconsciously), so I am black. I have been discriminated against because of it, I have been noticed because of it and I have also had privileges because of it but being mixed is something that tends to go unrecognized. I am proud of all of my heritages but often people only care about where the pigments come from. If you ask what’s my background or where I am from I will answer as a Canadian until you specifically ask where my mother’s family or father is from because I am Canadian. I was born here, I’ve grown up here and at least half of me is about the 6th generation of my family to be born here but I am a mixture of other things and sometimes I feel like those other things can also be underestimated.

The newspaper that I freelance for has been getting ready for their black-history issue for a while and I had been excited to write a piece on being mixed or at least about mixes of black and white (I hadn’t written it or anything I had just considered a few ideas about it such as being included and excluded at the same time). Today I checked my email to find they had hired a coordinator (and no I had not applied I really don’t want that responsibility at the moment) and he sent out a list of things he was looking for and any pitches we thought would work with his plan, I quickly realized that there wasn’t much room for a mixed article. His email asked for topics that fell under three sections; the past, present and future of black people. I am grateful that he didn’t specify African Americans because in a place such as Canada people considered ‘black’ come from all over the world and don’t always appreciate being linked to one continent but I’m still a little hurt. There doesn’t seem to be a place for me or many others to identify with, we can still write for the issue, anyone can doesn’t matter who you are or what the colour of your skin is, but I can’t help but feel left out.

I’m not sure what I plan to do. I might write to the coordinator and ask to place something about mixed races or there’s a mixed association group (for all mixes of any combination) somewhere on campus I could write to and see what they do, maybe they’ll ask for a mixed issue but I’m still a little lost. Like I said before to most of the people I see I am black not mixed, some people choose to ignore skin-colour and say I’m white which is still just as appalling as ignoring my ‘white side’ because I will always be both, and I would like to be fully included in both groups. I’m no where as cool or important as Obama but I wonder if he feels the same way. Remember he’s mixed too and the only time people mention it is when they use it to deride the fact that he is the first black president. The coordinator included Obama as a black man of the present (and to me he is, he had to struggle because of his skin colour and he benefited from it) and although he is of mixed heritage it was clear that he was mentioned as a black man and that his mix was not necessary.
I just wish we were included by all and I guess the same connection could be connected to all races including each other.

Song of the Month

Happy Halloween! This song comes from the Nightmere Before Christmas:

Jack's Lament

There are few who'd deny,

at what I do I am the best

For my talents are renowned far and wide

When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night

I excel without ever even trying

With the slightest little effort of my ghostlike charms

I have seen grown men give out a shriek

With the wave of my hand,

and a well-placed moan

I have swept the very bravest off their feet

Yet year after year,

it's the same routine

And I grow so weary of the sound of screams

And I, Jack, the Pumpkin King

Have grown so tired of the same old thing

Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones

An emptiness began to grow

There's something out there,

far from my home

A longing that I've never known

I'm a master of fright,

and a demon of light

And I'll scare you right out of your pants

To a guy in Kentucky,

I'm Mister Unlucky

And I'm known throughout England and France

And since I am dead,

I can take off my head

To recite Shakespearean quotations

No animal nor man can scream like I can

With the fury of my recitations

But who here would ever understand

That the Pumpkin King with the skeleton grin

Would tire of his crown,

if they only understood

He'd give it all up if he only could

Oh, there's an empty place in my bones

That calls out for something unknown

The fame and praise come year after year

Does nothing for these empty tears

Song of the Month

I don't really have a song of the month for September. I usually have phrases, where one song or CD is reaching out to how I feel about my life at that moment, but there is no defining song. Though there are no particular songs, there is an artist I just recently got hooked on. So I'd like to change things up for this month and give you an artist of the month for a change.

K'NAAN

I recently went to concert at my school where he preformed, having only known one of his songs and his whole performance blew me (along with everyone else in the audience) away. He had all of us singing along to songs we'd never heard and dancing like crazy to powerful upbeat songs. K'naan comes from Somalia and Toronto (he moved to Toronto awhile ago). Some of his songs are packed with explicit lyrics, something I normally dislike. All of his songs have a powerful meaning, and the more explicit words are there for a reason -other than to sound like a cool bad boy.
Don't be discouraged by his political songs, the beat along with the mixture of genres (rock, hip hop, rap, folk etc) make songs with tough subject matter more energetic and just plain fun.

Songs I like to sing to include; Wavin' Flag and Fatima.
Songs that I like to dance to include; ABC, Bang Bang and If Rap Gets Jealous.

I just bought his latest album, Troubadour and it's fantastic!

I tend to mainly listen to pop and rock, so it might just have been is amazing concert that hooked me but I really think you should check him out(I'm posting the link to his website so you have no excuse not to).

http://knaanmusic.ning.com/

Full Circle

I find it strange how things in life really do come full circle.

The first month of school is just finishing and just like last fall I find myself attempting to see Jersey Boys, last year I think I almost went with the same friend about 10 times but never managed to buy a ticket. This year I have a ticket ( instead of my friend it's my mother and her friend) but I have an essay due the next day so it depends how much work I get done in the next few days. If I manage to make it this year I'll write you about the performance.

However Jersey Boys is just one of the smaller ways life has come full circle. Once again I am living in a new place with whole new issues to deal with. It is still a campus residence but it is completely different from my first one. Last year I had a room. That was all. OK not exactly all. I did have a room with a desk, two chairs and a bed. I was on my own for the first and alone. None of my friends from before, were there and most of my friends had taken the year off and couldn't really relate to any of my new life experiences.

This year my new dorm has a kitchen, a washroom and I roommate. I still have my own personal room with all the luxuries I had in first year too. Having a roommate is great! We became friends in first year so it is not like living with a total stranger but it is still an adjustment. Once again I have to make new groups of friends, for a few difference reasons. Most of the people I hung out with in residence last year are now scattered across campus, so I cant just knock on their doors at any given time for any given thing.

The main reason for needing to make friends all over again is time. It was unexpected. My friends from home and I are still so close, I never would have guessed the small sum of a summer could make a difference but it did.
People I imagined I'd be closest with, I am furthest apart from. Fortunately for me the friends I thought would disappear came back ten times stronger.

My friends that took a year off have started school and it's funny reliving the few weeks I went through every time they mention their life. I don't think all them realize yet, that it is the same thing for every single person out there but it's nice. I laugh every time I think about next September for them and than me.

New classes, new friends, I think it is safe to assume I will have to start again (a least a little start) every year. I was getting discouraged until Friday when I made a few comments in class that made the people around me laugh. Once they laughed or the second time since last year, I realized (cheesy as it sounds) everything is going to be alright.

Song of the Month

I know I missed July...how could I?!
I've been very busy working about 10 hours a day at a daycamp and I've had trouble keeping touch with my friends let alone my blogs. Anyways I'm not too worried there's only about 4 people who read my blog and I know you all surrvived my lack of writing. :)

So like I've said I was very busy working and dreaming of some far off adventure, where I don't have to work all day to afford the classes that are comming up soon (where needless to say I will be working all day on essays).

Here is the song I think defines my July and August.

Take Me Anywhere

Tegan & Sara

Bright just like the stars above me

proud just like my mother planned it

short on all the things I don't want

I'm full of love and longing

take me by the hand and tell me

you would take me anywhere you would take me anywhere

still, cause I don't want to move a thing

and that you fit right into me

and all the things I don't want they're full

of love and longing

take me by the hand and tell me

you would take me anywhere you would take me anywhere

take me by the hand and tell me

you would take me anywhere you would take me anywhere

and it goes, its like a come on come on to me

and it goes, it's like a come on come on to me

you, you say you don't see any part of me

to love in all this mess and I know

you take the good and all the bad that comes with me

take me by the hand and tell me

you would take me anywhere you would take me anywhere

take me by the hand and tell me

you would take me anywhere you would take me anywhere

and it goes, its like a come on come on to me

and it goes, it's like a come on come on to me

and it goes, its like a come on come on to me

and it goes, it's like a come on come on to me

Poor Man's America

Ok so during my stay in Italy, I went out with a lot of different people around the world. One particular night (well morning since it was 2am) I was taking a taxi back to Termini an important station in Roma for buses, trains, subways etc, with a guy named Mike.
Mike lives in England and we were just talking about where we've been when I asked him about Canada. He is a cool guy and we can't judge him based on ignorance, but part of his response was so ridiculous, rude and just plain irritating.
He said he had been to Canada when he was young and not to get a offended but that he figured most countries think of Canada as 'the poor man's America'.

Of course I was offended. What he said at first was not really offensive, in fact it's probably true most countries do think we are the poor man's America, they might not think that but it is how the media portrays us. It is what followed next that bothered me. He continued to add 'I mean really what is there to see/do in Canada'. He agreed with his earlier quote.

Now at the time (2am) I was exhausted and all I could think of was the CN Tower and a joke I once heard about all it is, is a bunch of rich people eating while spinning around in a circle. So of course I mentioned the CN Tower and then continued to babble on aimlessly about this movie I saw a commercial for called One Week, a movie about a dying man that spends his last week left to live on a motorbike seeing all the sights across Canada.

Later on that week and through out the past month I look back at the comment he made and I can't help it, I'm livid. I am one of the proudest Canadians I know, I have a multi-cultural background that might not have been allowed if my parents hadn't met in Canada. I am the first generation Canadian on my dad's side of the family -in fact one of the first people in the whole Nelson family born here, and I am the 5th generation Canadian on my mother's side.

I keep kicking myself for not standing up more for my country however I know it couldn't be helped I was tired and after all I can't really speak much for outside the province of Ontario. My Canadian travels are pretty limited to around Toronto, Ottawa and around Quebec City. I went to B.C when I was four but it doesn't count if I can hardly remember it.

Canada is a great place, to live or visit and I know it.

Expect a future blog about what Canada has to offer. I don't have time or money to travel right now but I will at least be doing some research in order to fill you guys in because when I brought this up here in Canada many people responded with 'what is there to do here?

Song of the Month

So this past week 3 celebrities have died; Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. So in honor of their lives and accomplishments, I chose my favourite (or at least one out of two of my favourites) Michael Jackson song for Song of the Month.
I hope the media and the rest of the world lets them rest in peace, very soon.

Will You Be There

Michael Jackson

Hold Me

Like The River Jordan

And I Will Then Say To Thee

You Are My Friend

Carry Me

Like You Are My Brother

Love Me Like A Mother

Would You Be There?

Weary

Tell Me Will You Hold Me

When Wrong, Will You Skold Me

When Lost Will You Find Me?

But They Told Me

A Man Should Be Faithful

And Walk When Not Able

And Fight Till The End

But I'm Only Human

Everyone's Taking Control Of Me

Seems That The World's

Got A Role For Me

I'm So Confused

Will You Show To MeYou'll Be There For Me

And Care Enough To Bear Me

(Hold Me) show me

(Lay Your Head Lowly)

told me

(Softly Then Boldly)

(Carry Me There)

I'm Only Human

(Lead Me)

hold me

(Love Me And Feed Me)

ye yeah

(Kiss Me And Free Me)

yeah

(I Will Feel Blessed)

I'm Only Human

(Carry)Carry

(Carry Me Boldly)Carry me

(Lift Me Up Slowly)yeah

(Carry Me There)

I'm Only Human

(Save Me)

need me

(Heal Me And Bathe Me)

lift me up lift me up

(Softly You Say To Me)

(I Will Be There)I Will Be There

(Lift Me)i'm gonna care

(Lift Me Up Slowly)

(Carry Me Boldly)yeah

(Show Me You Care)

Show Me You Care

(Hold Me)whoooo

(Lay Your Head Lowly)

I get lonly sometimes

(Softly Then Boldly)

i get lonly

(Carry Me There)

yeah yeah carry me there

yeah yeah yeah

[Spoken]

In Our Darkest Hour

In My Deepest Despair

Will You Still Care?

Will You Be There?

In My Trials

And My Tripulations

Through Our Doubts

And Frustrations

In My Violence

In My Turbulence

Through My Fear

And My Confessions

In My Anguish And My Pain

Through My Joy And My Sorrow

In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow

I'll Never Let You Part

For You're Always In My Heart

Sides -A Twisted Ice-cream

Today I was just wondering why is there always a need for people to pick a side?
I understand, everyone has an opinion on something but does it really matter what their opinion is?

I obviously have an opinion on everything in life and for the most part I like to share my opinion but sometimes my opinion is irrelevant and there is no point in sharing it with the world if it won't help.

My friend Christina has two best friends from high school. Like most stories go, her two friends had a falling out and both turned to her. Christina being a very intelligent person had one response for the both of them in more or less the same words as these:
"Oh no, I'm staying out of this."

I don't really know how the story ended however I think its safe to assume everything turned out at least civil because I met them both for the first time earlier this month at Christina's birthday party.

There are at least two sides to everything in life -most likely even three after all we are not 2D cartoons. I often find it easy to see both -even when I am telling one of those stories. I suppose its one of those personality traits people accumulate. I tend not to truly fight with people unless I see my side as clearly being the logical argument (maybe that's what everybody says who knows) otherwise to most degrees I back down.
Christina's story has obviously happened to all of us and for most of us on more than one occasion.

When I was in high school I was made to choose a side -I really regret it looking back on the event.
My friends and I were on a trip and like every other story they got mad at each other. The day they had their fight, we split up into smaller groups to tour the area. For the most part part it was two friends against one and the two, made it very obvious that is I chose not to hang with them then I was declaring that the other friend was right.

The other friend said she understood and it didn't matter -at that moment I should have stayed with her. I would never make my friends choose between me and another friend and I shouldn't have let them dictate me like that but I was 16 and stupid. I hung out with the two friends, they didn't listen to me once and spent a good part of the night complaining about our other friend until I hid from them in annoyance. When they found me I snapped at them for about 5minutes (for all of which they were deaf) and to this day all though I've explained it to them a bunch of times, they don't understand why I was pissed.

A perfect world would be like a twisted ice-cream cone you get from the ice-cream truck. The one that's half chocolate and half vanilla but you already know that and you know the world is not perfect (sigh).
If I do not share my opinion with people it is because I know it is not worth sharing (people be honest with ourselves we all have opinions that are not worth sharing). So if I am not talking, don't bother asking me to.

8 Days!

8 DAYS 8 DAYS 8DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's in 8 days you ask?

ITALY

That's right in 8 days I leave for Italy.

I admit I'm a little nervous for a tonne of different things. For one I hate planes lol Another I'm worried I wont make friends -well new friends, I am going with my friend Morgan.

I will be going with a company called EF http://www.eftours.com/
I went on a tour with them and my grade 11 french class and it was a blast. I would even go as far as to say life-changing. The people I grouped with during the trip for the most part turned out to be my really close friends and they are a big part of my life even now; Melissa, Miles and Morgan (hmmm all Ms that's a strange coincidence lol). Those are the three that I talk to and love the most but from time to time I see the others. We went to Italy, Monaco, France and a German Airport, plus The Vatican is legally it's own state and we were there too so we covered a lot in just 10days but this time is really different.

I give my self props!
I think it was pretty brave of me to book my trip to Italy earlier this year. For one I didn't know Morgan would be going -it wasn't until right before the deadline that she even switched her trip to Italy to match mine. I was going there all by myself and no I don't speak a word of Italian. It has only been recent that my major fear of flying has surfaced. I think I've always had nerves but with so many crashes in the news this year, when I went to my brother's wedding in March I was balling my eyes out right be fore take off cause of fear.

Here is the basic plot of the trip.
I go to Italy sort of like an exchange student (with no one coming to here). I stay with a 'host' family ( I just got their information a few days ago) and so does another student from who knows where. We go to school every afternoon on weekdays to learn Italian and then for every other part of the day, it's my understanding that I roam around free (pun intended since it is in Roma that I will be staying).
I don't get a credit because you have to stay about 6 weeks in order to do that, but I'm supposed to go to at least %80 of the classes. I'm really nervous about friends!

I also have nerves about life in Rome.
My friend Morgan will be staying in some apartment thing on her own but we will be going to the EF school together and obviously partying through out the whole trip. On one hand I'm soooooooooo thankful she's going with me. She did this programme last year in France so she has an idea of what to expect. I just hope we don't do that thing (all friends do it once in awhile) where because we are set in our friendship we neglect making friends with others, I really want to come out of this with contacts from around the world!
I also hope the family I live with is easy going -I sent them an e-mail but they haven't replied back yet. I can't forget I'm a little worried about getting lost or stuck on my own but that shouldn't happen cause I have Morgan for a friend :)

For the most part...

I'm so excited!!!!

Song of the Month

Often people get stuck in rut they really shouldn't be in.

Lost & Found

Adrienne Pierce

Eyes like flowers, I love the way you see you see, you see

You're the best thing that's happened to me Maybe I should fight harder for you

But I said I'd let go when you wanted me to Have no power,

I see the way you run you run you run As soon as we start to have fun

Maybe I will be feel better alone or just feel something,

Heart is turning to stone

So, so slow can you feel me letting go

I, I know that we turn away when the cracks begin to show
And now we're sleeping with the television and all the lights on

One of us is leaving soon but we're both already gone

Stuck at the lost at found, watch things disappear

Looking for the missing piece but it was never here
Every hour, I find a way a way a way, a way

To convince myself to stay back and forth,

I can't juggle lying here need to stand up and struggle

Ivory tower, I know the what you think you think you think

It's making my heart sink unamused, tired of the antics

Sick of arguing over semantics

So, so slow can you feel me letting go

I, I know that we turn away when the cracks begin to show
And now we're sleeping with the television and all the lights on

One of us is leaving soon but we're both already gone

Stuck at the lost at found, watch things disappear

Looking for the missing piece but it was never here

This song just seems to fit my life when I feel its headed to being in a rut.

Veggn' out!

So as you should know I'm a vegetarian. It's not too hard. I don't have a problem with cutting out meat, my problem has to do with replacing it...and also marsh mellows.
I clearly don't eat healthy enough I lack protein and iron but I'm working on it.

I'm not a big fan of marsh mellows I just like them in other deserts like RiceKrispie -Squares and s'mores so I have spent all weekend looking for vegan marsh mellows. I searched all over I was almost desperate I found a store in Georgia and New Zealand but I have finally found the right place for me in Toronto, its this store on.......called....... Panacea: An Eco Shopping Oasis

I went here just to look for marsh mellows but I found so much more! I plan to go back sometime soon maybe after my trip to Italy in June, I think the store will continue to be a big help with my vegetarian lifestyle -which at this moment isn't very healthy. They had so many options, I often have a hard time finding food because I am very allergic to bell peppers (I know strange but it runs in the family) but there were sooooooooo many selections to choose from, many without soy products which can be a problem for people allergic to peanuts. Being a Vegetarian can be a little pricey. It's tricky to find affordable healthy food without meat, -that's why so many westerners are over-weight because things like Mc Donald's are so much cheaper than vegan places.

I even bought some vegan Gummie bears! I was worried that they would taste too healthy 0if you know what I mean but they were great! I shared them with my friends who almost all eat meat and they loved them too! The best thing about the Gummie bears (besides the satisfaction of not eating an animal) is that they don't have that after feeling. Shirley and I were agreeing that regular Gummie bears often leave you with a sick feeling (your body is telling you they weren't to good for you lol) but the vegan bears left you perfectly fine.

Even if you're not a vegetarian I recommend you visit the store. In case you don't know why I look for vegan marsh mellows it is because many things with that type of chewy-gummy texture contains a substance called gelatin. Gelatin is made up of a few icky things including cow hooves (when I picture gelatin I just imagine the foot of a cow being torn off -eww I know). When I was a kid I thought that gelatin was artificial but as it turns out I was wrong. Gelatin is still used very much today and is very much real including the hooves.

Have you ever tried being a vegetarian? Vegan? Or even just tried cutting out red-meat? As much as I would like to just tell you all to stop eating any type of meat, I suggest you give it a try, but do it for the right reasons. Really think about the choice, Are you trying it because it seems to be the trend? As my friend Morgan once said 'You can't just take a political stance without a reason'.
I am a vegetarian because I don't believe in eating someone (let's classify someone as a being with a pulse for the argument's sake) I believe that animals have souls and don't deserve to be killed for our benefit (lol -a little intense?), but you could try it to be healthier just be sure to replace the iron, protein, calcium, even the calories. If you are trying to loose weight -I don't think this is the right way. Remember to think always think about what you do and why you do it (this applies to all aspects of life).

<3